Habit Tracking October: Injured and Distracted

Following my new system for tracking habits I have again kept track of various habits I try to follow. Here the overview for October.

Habit Tracking October

Overall, I didn’t do very well, just like in September. Here my notes on the individual habits:

  • Exercise and Stretching: Since I injured my rib at the end of September, I was not able to do much exercise. The two times I managed to do so I went on strenuous walks, first to the Werribee Gorge and then to the 1000 Steps.

  • Emails: I have adopted a new habit where I aim to have less than five emails in my personal inbox (certainly not possible with my work one). I managed to do so quite consistently. I think it stresses me when too many emails pile up in my personal inbox so I think keeping things managed day by day is a good habit to adopt.

  • Meditation: While I was not being very good at meditating regularly in October, I improved somewhat from September. I also developed for myself a little meditation map that I followed:

Meditation Map
  • Learn: For the latter half of the month I was not very diligent in continuing my touch typing practice. I think this was due to me being involved in a small programming project; I taught myself how to develop 3D graphics using JavaScript. So, in a way I did some learning during most of these days just not the kind I planned for.
3D Application
  • Posture: I was able to use my Upright go for around half of the days in the months. Should definitely try to do better.

For the next month my main goal will definitely be to pick up exercising again. For me, it is the most important habit but one I often fail to adhere to.

Practice: Healing Compassion

I have already written about a practice centred on the powerful emotion of compassion. However, today I came across an interesting variation of a practice on compassion (in the book Happiness by Matthieu Ricard): one that reflects our own suffering onto others, and helps us heal from our own suffering. This practice works as follows:

  1. Imagine those that encounter more hardships in their lives than you do; either by experiencing your hardships more severely or by having hardships from which you are spared.
  2. Send those all your love and compassion. Imagine this as a force of positive spirit emanating from you and reaching others, alleviating their hardships, if only by the fact that it is acknowledged by someone who cares.

This practice helps us to both strengthen our love and compassion, infinitely important emotions for a path towards enlightenment. This practice is well established among Buddhist practitioners. Connection with the suffering and hardships of others may bring us sadness but this sadness is quickly turned into strength by the powerful force of compassion and love, we can easily find within us.

Identity, Habits and Enlightenment

I recently read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. One of the interesting ideas presented in this book was that in order to bring about personal change, we need to start with our identity, then change our practices and processes and thus achieve better outcomes; as in, I am a health conscious person, therefore I will change my habit of eating fast food for lunch and thus eat healthy food for lunch. This is presented as being in contrast to our usual way of trying to facilitate change, which would be to start with outcomes; as in, I will eat healthy food for lunch, thus changing my habit of eating fast food and ultimately become a healthy person.

I thought this is a rather useful way to think about facilitating change, even though we need to take into account that it will usually be a two way process; what I do makes me what I am, but also what I am makes me do what I do. I am also still reading the book Happiness by Matthieu Ricard and today I came across a passage in there which I think brings an additional perspective on this.

Specifically Ricard discusses the Buddhist desire to become self-less. This is grounded in the belief that having a strong sense of self makes us liable to suffer. For instance, if I see myself as a formidable athlete and I get a permanent injury, it might bring me great unhappiness. Likewise, if I attach great importance to my self and my well-being, I am prone to develop thoughts that I am disadvantaged or easily become angry when thinking I have been wronged.

This line of thinking made me consider if building habits around a strong sense of identity might be as dangerous a path to follow as building habits around a desire to achieve a specific outcome. For instance, if I am developing a new habit because I want to loose weight, I might be disappointed when I do not succeed. However if I am developing the identity of myself as a slim person, it might bring me even greater unhappiness if I am not able to accomplish this. I think this very unhappiness might be the driver which makes using an identity based approach more likely to succeed; but it likewise makes it more dangerous for our general well-being.

I think it is quite important to develop an identity and have a life purpose. These should, however, be very carefully chosen. In choosing an identity, we should choose something which is helping us towards a path of greater happiness and enlightenment, rather than something which helps us achieve a lesser goal. Also our identity and purpose should not be dependent on external factors but only on things completely under our control. In the book Eternal Dharma, some possible life goals were discussed which I think were quite interesting. They centred around bringing love and kindness into the world. Here some further examples of identities/purposes which might be safe to adapt:

Having a strong identity is critical in finding success and happiness. However, as said, we must also keep in mind that an identity can do as much harm as it can do good. If I believe I am a person who loves shopping or going out above all, I am unlikely to bring much good into the world or for myself. But if I believe that I am kind and hard-working, I can be of great benefit to others and myself.

Fate

In life, things are bound to happen to us. Sometimes they are caused by our actions or inaction but, more often than not, things just happen for no apparent reason. I believe that how we think about the latter affects our well-being tremendously.

Given that seemingly random events play such a big part in our lives, we have developed a number of approaches to explain this randomness. In many world religions unexplainable events are attributed to the will of a higher power. Often this is nonsensical since many things that happen are in stark contrast to what is otherwise thought of the celestial being. Who would believe in a god which causes children dying from cancer?

We may also believe we have some kind of personal fate or destiny. We build a narrative that we are lucky with money, unlucky in love, destined to be happy, or destined to be unlucky in any of our endeavours. Any pattern of such interpretations which arise from our life are either random or a result of our own character and actions. There is absolutely no evidence that something like identifiable personal destiny exists.

We may also think that everything is random. We can do one thing or another but, at the end, the inevitable force of epic Randomness will overrule any of our actions.

Finally we may think that everything is predetermined; that whatever we do is already written and that none of our actions will be able to change anything.

Scientifically speaking, this last view is probably the one closest to the truth. It is theorised that, if we were to be able to know the exact state of the universe in one moment, we should be able to infer all future states from that. However, spiritually speaking, this view is barren – it provides us with no nourishment and strength for our soul to be the best we can be.

Instead, I prefer a view which I came across in a book about Buddhism: “The Way Things Are” from Ole Nydahl. Lama Ole Nydal said that those which are advanced in their study of the teachings of the Buddha will see what happens to them in two ways:

They understand good things which happen to them as blessings. A blessing is something which is good for us and which is given to us by a higher power and there is very little question that whatever makes the world go round – be it the will of sentient power or the natural interaction of elementary particles – is far more powerful than us.

Bad things which happen, in contrasts, are understood as trials and challenges. I think we should go even further and understand them as opportunities. In a world without challenge, without suffering and friction, there can only be greyness. In order to taste the sweetness of understanding, balance and enlightenment, we need to sample the ordeals of ignorance, chaos and misguided principles; and the engine of events around us is willing to supply us plenty of these.

Our world – or at least how we experience it – is unquestionably a very complex system. Our only way to understand complex systems is to divide them into layers; from a layer grounded in physical reality to layers which become more and more abstract. Think of the stock market. On one layer, there are individual stocks changing hands at specific prices. For a person to know of each individual transaction is impossible. Instead, we aggregate the transactions into a particular price at which the stock is trading at. On a more abstract level, we speak of market sentiment; we differentiate if there is a bull or bear market; if investors in general are eager to invest or try to sell their stocks. On an even more abstract level, we may ask what the spiritual value of the stock market is. Does this bring good or bad for us and humanity?

The same layering applies for all the big and small events which happen in our lives. As said, on a physical, natural level, everything may be predetermined and our fate sealed forever. However, this level is of the same importance to us as is the ledger of all transactions for a stock is for a stock broker; that is of virtually no importance at all. What is very important for us though is the spiritual question what the point of all these seemingly random events is.

Thankfully looking at this question from the spiritual level allows us some degree of freedom how to interpret what is happening to us. We can decide to adopt the most wholesome and nourishing interpretation which does not conflict with the theories currently most favoured by science. In my view, that is the dual view expressed above. Embrace everything good happening as blessing; and embrace everything bad happening as an opportunity to bring us further along on the path to enlightenment.

Habit Tracking September: Technological Enhancement

As written before, I have adopted a new system for tracking my habits. This primarily involves keeping track of whether or not I am getting to do certain activities in a day or not and recording this in a simple table. I have already reported my success in tracking my habits for July and August.

While things were going very well in July, August saw me struggling to stick to any of the habits; chiefly I think, since I struggled with a winter cold (living in Australia, yes, we have winter in August).

Here the overview for September:

Habit Tracking September

Overall I did not very terribly, and here my notes for the individual habits:

  • Exercise & Stretching: While I only managed to exercise (and stretch four times in August), I increased this to six times in September. I think I could have done even better if I hadn’t been very busy at work at the end of September and thus wasn’t able to come back home in time to exercise in the evening. Also I had a little accident on my scooter on the 26th of September where I injured my rib. I can still barely walk without pain, so I don’t think I will be able to exercise until this is healed.
  • Wake Up: We changed our morning routine to wake up a bit later and thus the 5:30 am wake up time wasn’t really practical to pursue.
  • Meditation: No excuse why I didn’t do my meditation. Have to do better next month.
  • Learn: I was able to practice touch typing quite consistently. I am still learning to type special characters such as []{}()=><. Also, my wife gave me the book Visual Thinking as a birthday present and I have been practising to draw with the help of this book.
  • Posture: Finally coming to the subtitle of the book, I have at long last found a way to work on my posture in an effective way. As another birthday present from my wife I received an Upright Go, that I have been using to train my posture. Unfortunately this is also at present hindered by my injury.

For the next month, I will try to continue working on the same habits but will replace Wake Up with Emails, where I set myself the goal to have less than five emails in my personal inbox at any point in the day.

My Life Goals

I have recently been asked what goals I have for my life. I think I am someone who deeply cares about leading a purposeful life and the very purpose of this blog is finding such. However, I don’t think I have recently articulated what my life goals are and I believe this to be a very worthwhile exercise. Really speaking, I think I only have one life goal:

To be in a position where I can provide the most benefit to the world given my abilities.

I believe that making a positive difference is not simply doing good wherever we can. While that is certainly a noble cause, I think this might limit our potential. I don’t think the our current social and economic system is well-suited for unconditional altruistic behaviour. If we were unconditionally altruistic, we would put ourselves at a disadvantage which ultimately limits our ability to make a difference. For instance, if I give away all my money, I won’t have any left to support myself and my family; becoming a burden on others but also being constrained in what I am able to do, since I won’t be able to pay for internet access, a computer, travel, or books to help me learn and grow. Thus I believe in order to bring good into the world, we need to establish a position for ourselves from which we can do so effectively. First and foremost, I believe this requires financial independence, so that we can use our time towards bringing good into the world rather than being preoccupied with earning a living.

Bringing a benefit to the world for me involves preserving and nurturing the natural beauty of the world as well as to limit the suffering of conscious beings, allowing them to be in balance with their nature and flourish through pleasure, joy and happiness. How I am going to do that given the abilities that I have, I am not so sure yet. I think I am a creator and designer at heart, so I hope to be able to do this through something I create (rather than through my direct actions, which I believe I am not as suited for).

After giving the answer above, the person asking the question understood that I would be trying to build a legacy. For me, nothing could be further from the truth. I do not care much if people are going to remember me after my death or not (one reason being that I am in full acknowledgement that however long I might be remembered for will surely be utterly inconsequential on a cosmic scale). I simply want to bring as much good as I can within the live that I have been given.

Picture Credit: Pixabay

To Be Human, To Be Animal

It is obvious that there are a number of fundamental differences between humans and  other animals on this planet. Humans have a language whose complexity goes far beyond ways in which animals communicate. We have writing. We use very sophisticated tools. We live in large groups made out of individuals with very different personalities.

It fills me with wonder to contemplate how it came to be that humans exist. It just feels so improbable that we came to be at all. It is so wonderful that we are made in a way which allows us to appreciate beauty and to transcend selfish desire.

However we also need to remind ourselves that we are, for the largest part, animals and beings with aspirations beyond animal desires only to a small degree.

If you ask people what is most important in their life, many will answer that it is family. The concept of family springs from nature; elephants, dolphins, wolves, they all have family just as we do.

If you we think about what drives many of us, it is desire to accumulate power; may it be in the form of money, respect from others, or control over those close to us. This quest for power is yet again of Nature; chimpanzees seek it, wolves seek it, even chicken seek it.

If we ask ourselves how many of us are truly driven by factors which originate from the part of our mind which is not equal to anything else found in Nature, I think we will find that they are few.

And this is very understandable. Most parts of our brain are shared with all mammals. What drives a goat to want to procreate? Chances are similar brain structures are involved in this than are used by Nature to guide our behaviour. And there is nothing wrong with that! We (as of yet) cannot change what we are. We cannot re-engineer our brains and take out all the lowly animal parts – and even if we could, after we would have done this, we would not be ourselves anymore.

What we must do, though, is to acknowledge what we are. We cannot close our eyes to the fact that there is a mountain of instinct within us with only a small temple of reflective self upon it.

If we do not acknowledge this, our animal self will, without our knowledge, always be the driving force of our behaviour, most likely without us even noticing. But if we do acknowledge it, we gain the opportunity to truly love ourselves, encompassing all aspects which make us who we are; and we also gain the opportunity to gently guide ourselves towards more nobler goals.

Imagine you are a young man and you and your friends are having a talk about women. You talk about the various aesthetic features of the female gender you have witnessed in women you know or don’t know. One of your friends is boasting with how many women he has slept just this year. Maybe you feel inadequate, since maybe you weren’t nearly as successful as your friend in that respect. If you have understanding of yourself, you will see that your feelings spring from your animal mind; it is a reflection of Nature’s good intention to assure that your genes are passed to the next generation; ideally in a vehicle which will provide for their best possible fitness (those features of the female gender that make you and your friends rave but which would leave any extraterrestrial creature surely unimpressed). Don’t judge yourself and don’t judge your friends; this is just the way you are made. Just don’t fool yourself that you are engaged in a noble and spiritually worthwhile quest. If you are looking for true meaning in your life, then think about starting to look somewhere else.

There are many facets to our animal nature; starting with the very obvious, such as our desire to breathe and the constant beating of our heart, and ending with the devious, where our base desires for power of procreation disguise themselves as noble goals. Unfortunately our current culture is very un-reflective of how our animal selves influence our behaviour; in fact, it is something which is often seen as something good rather than bad; especially if you are looking at commercials. Do commercials for perfume and deodorant appeal to our innate ability to appreciate the complex wonders of the world, or our base animal desire to be as attractive as possible to potential mates?  Moreover, our current culture it is taboo to even consider some aspects of how our nature influences who we are; for instance the question of whether our gender may influence our actions (with some exceptions, it’s okay to say young men are more likely to be criminals and kill themselves in stupid ways, both of which are undoubtedly statistically evident).

Thus I think now more than ever it is important to remind ourselves what we are and to acknowledge what is the strongest force in our being; to embrace ourselves as the wonder we are while also enabling ourselves to understand the limitations of ourselves; to become the best version of who we can be with what has been given to us.

Image credit: Santa3